2017, you were real in every meaning of the word. Life’s funny like that. You work for all these things, then they happen at the flick of a switch and you can hardly believe it’s real. You want time to fly by, then it's there, and you want it to slow down. The train just keeps movin' along down the tracks, though. 2018, I'm excited for you. For the simplicity of my goals for you.
Since the age of 15, I had been working and wishing for everything I did in 2017. The whole year I was running full speed, reaching out to finally capture all these goals. Not taking any time to ponder all these changes that were molding into their final shape before my eyes. ...And by the grace, and maybe some humor, of God, it all happened. At once. I went through graduate school, became Meredith Wellman, moved out of the only house I’ve ever lived in and went on to a new state, finally made a home with Zach, walked in the breathtaking mountains of Colorado, and became a registered dietitian. Going downhill on a roller coaster for months on end.
Time slipped by, before we knew it he was back to a new semester of school. I was still without a job as an RD. He was juggling unnatural hours of studying, with a load on his shoulders, and being there for me. As long as I can remember I have never had a completely empty agenda. With no work to be done, Mom or sisterfriends to run to for "girl talk", babies to love on, hills and trees to run through, and roads that I know like the back of my hand. I got really homesick and frustrated by the harsh reality of not knowing every other face in the grocery store anymore. I cried to Zach many times, and we’ve drove the three-hour country roads home to WV probably more than my sweet Mom even dreamed of.
Jobs weren't in abundance like I was told, and lack of connection to the area was more detrimental than I percieved. Every day I was following my checklist of advice, doing all I could with what I had, but the result was not changing. So, I slowed down. I took a step back. This is where we’ve been planted because I have a strong man taking this leap to make dreams of traveling, farmland and lots of babies come true. There was definitely a stirrin' in my soul telling me to take a deep breath, be thankful for this change of location, and grow with grace.
I then did all these things I wanted to do. I lived just how I wanted, without clutter of obligations. In five months, I learned how to sew (We had two lopsided stockings for Christmas!), learned how to make candles, made all these recipes I wanted to try, started a website, finally sold my baked goods and branded Simply Wellman, organized, read good books, wrote, took pictures, tried new workout classes, grew deeper in my faith, and just enjoyed the bliss of being Zach Wellman’s long awaited wife.
I finally was getting to spend nights and sleepy, early mornings with my man. It's just us in this place that didn't feel an ounce like home, but I soon found pieces of home. Staring at his scarred hands, my calloused feet, listening to the way he talks, and the way I laugh. The music we listen to, the smell of wood burning, the pieces of furniture my Dad built me, and in the taste of our family's recipes we now recreate. Home is right inside me and all around me. Now, when we drive back to WV and pull into what used to be ordinary, it is butterflies and fireworks.
I’d never felt so grateful for my man, his endless supply of 'patient pants', and the home that grew our roots and wings. The home that gave us these scars, callouses, voices, laughs, and gifts to the senses. It's humbling. Without all these seemingly scary changes forcing me to slow down, I wouldn’t have found the beauty and importance in these simple things. The simple things that patchwork together to make up me and my life.
Sure enough, in perfect timing, a set of jobs just plopped in my lap. I found a niche, and am following plans I didn't even plan on going after just yet. Too often we make these plans and expect it to be like a checklist of events. Sometimes you have to wait and sometimes what is on that checklist isn’t what you need. If you use that waitin’ time to listen to the silence, have patience, you’ll find it’s worth it. You may get more than what you were even spending time wishing for.
My heart is full of grace and my soul of fire as I start 2018. More authentic and kind, more patient, that is all I want to be in 2018. To be simple, be real, and take a minute to smell the roses. The world needs more of that. I need more of that. Wouldn’t it sound silly on paper to say you spent your whole life rushing around, hiding that mind spittin’ out new ideas that are meant to be heard, and a heart full of love meant to give away. So, if you get pushed out of your comfort zone this year, just slow down your anxious feet and look around. You'll find it.
{Photo Credit: Alannah Stone Photography -- My little sister <3}